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01 January, 2021

Online Dating Advice

Profile Appearance

Whenever you commit to a dating site of your choice, it is critical to take the time to ensure your profile is compelling. At SophisticatedPeople, we can attest to how many members across not only our website, but many others rush the profile creation process. Making a first impression in life matters and online is no different. Just think about it, imagine meeting that special person for the very first time and when you come to face to face, the other person either shows up late, has bad hygiene or is dressed inappropriately. No matter how great the online conversations were the physical appearance does not measure up, which ultimately leads to a failed relationship. Take your time when creating your profile because the more you do, the better your desired match results increase.

Let us begin with the username and profile pictures. The username must be unique, and it should be easy to remember and catchy. You want a username that will help you find your desired relationship. For example, if you were a guy looking for a mature relationship or marriage you probably would not want to use a name like mason666 or pimp2020. Although most users are not hung up on names, there are some that are, so why waste an opportunity off a username. You want to be thoughtful and strategic so that your success rate is high during the match-making process. You may be looking for something casual or genuine friendships and that is Ok if you choose a name that makes the most sense.

Another thing to be mindful of is keeping your username and password simple. We cannot tell you how many members create a username and password so complicated that they cannot even remember their password log-in credentials. Some websites are restricted to one personal email and if you are not able to remember emails, usernames or passwords during the profile appearance process this may impact you meeting your perfect match.

Have you ever come across member profiles with no pictures, old pictures, face pictures, pictures with groups of friends or pictures of random objects or text? If you ever used a dating website and your answer is no, you are either the luckiest person in the world or you simply disregard these red flags. Here is some advice if you engage with another member who is not truthful about their current looks. There is a high probability that the member is either spam, they are in a committed relationship and are most likely cheating on their partner or that user lacks self-confidence. Once again, the rationale is you want to establish connections with real and authentic members.

Choosing a picture for your profile is an easy process however, you want to make sure you understand the file specs required on the website of your choice and select images of high quality. The better the image the better members can see your physical attributes whether on a computer, lab top, or mobile device. We recommend selecting at least 3 different images that are recent and bring out your best attributes. For example, if you are a male who is tall and physically fit, you want to choose pictures that highlight your unique qualities.

How to create content in your profile and communicate effectively

A powerful profile must contain a powerful tagline, detailed responses when answering open-ended questions and a clear objective of who you are. Your profile must also tell members what you plan to gain by joining the dating website of your choice. Some members fail at finding their match because they rush this part of the process. This goes back to making a first impression that appeals to other members but most importantly building a strong dating profile that gets desired results. Imagine a member requesting to chat with you and their picture is blank, their tagline is unappealing and the content regarding their desired interests, hobbies and goals in life are vague. How would this make you feel? Would you feel excited about chatting with this member or would you be completely turned off? Put yourself in another member’s shoes and take your time when it comes to signing up on a dating website especially when your finalizing your member profile.

Another key area is understanding the website you joined and the functionality of it. You want to make sure your profile is strong and will get a lot of views. Dating websites have algorithms which will pair you with the best members available based on your preference. Whether it is a premium membership level, joining groups, site-wide activity or chat rooms, you want to align your attributes with the best resources available on the dating website. Members enjoy reading fruitful content that is visual and provides spark during initial online encounters.

Whenever you interact with other members the key thing you should be mindful of is impactful dialogue. For example, if you are addressing another a member saying things like,” Hey cutie you are looking good” you will probably be ignored unless you mirror Brad Pitt in his prime. All jokes aside, appropriate commentary should be your guiding light when initiating chat online. Grammar is critical and should not be taken lightly, especially if you are looking for something more mature. Here at SophisticatedPeople most of our members tend to be business professionals, business owners, consultants or entrepreneurs who have limited time to meet and greet through traditional brick & mortar. With that being said, your approach should be polished and engaging. Receiving and sending messages is also critical. It is no secret that most members are talking to various people however, responding in a timely fashion keeps all interested parties involved. We always say try to build a communication cadence that you feel comfortable with. Some members prefer to engage every other day, once a week, or perhaps daily depending on their comfort level. You do not want to appear desperate however, you also want to leave just enough spice to show others you are available.

How to identify a good match

So, your profile is complete and your comfort level for the website is good, so what happens next? Identifying the perfect match for you is one click away, so it is imperative that you understand what type of partner you are attracted to and the type of relationship you desire. People searching can be cumbersome, some refer it to be just as difficult as looking for a house, a new car or even a new job. You want to take your time to ensure you make the right engagements with people who fit your criteria. For example, if you are looking for something committed or marriage, your search will most likely include someone who is single/divorced and lives in the area. Other characteristics maybe someone who does not smoke or have kids or maybe it is completely opposite, the point is identifying the perfect match begins with your preference. There are millions of people all around the world looking for love contrary there are also millions of people looking for just friendship and casual encounters.

Whether it is on your lunch break, commuting to work or perhaps relaxing over a glass of wine at home, you and only you dictate how and when you engage with other members. Remember when you used to go out to happy hour at the local bar/lounge or even the club prior to COVID-19? Single and ready to mingle, meant being free to see and engage with fellow patrons and club-goers. Although that looks and feels much different today, online dating allows you to control and be more creative with your approach. Whether it is engaging with members indirectly through forums or site wide activity or perhaps using video chats the pressure of sticking to one line of communication is much different today. Years ago, members were primarily restricted to limited websites with chat rooms and basic profiles however, today there are multi-level channels of communication. In fact, with increasing technology & security, people today have been more comfortable utilizing dating websites.

Now that you have identified your hunk or queen, what happens next? Trust and communication are the pillars that build a solid foundation for successful relationships. And to build up both, getting to know that member as a friend should be your number #1 goal. So many times, we have heard stories where people move to fast in life and wind up in un-healthy relationships. The same applies online, do not let flirtatious lines or profile pictures dictate your feelings for a potential partner. Let the guiding principles such as communication, trust, respect, continuity and compatibility determine whether you have a perfect match. Some would also suggest talking about that member to a close family member, friend or confidant. Our views on what we consider to be a perfect match can be skewed, so having another opinion to evaluate your thoughts on a person of interest is perfectly normal. It is better to be safe and secure about your decisions as opposed to rushing into an encounter and winding up in a toxic relationship.

Meeting face to face

So you’ve identified your ideal partner and now your trying to determine your next move? In addition to that, COVID-19 has made things more challenging due to social distancing rules and based on your location. Ideally, you want to make sure you are not rushing the process due to being locked down for so long but at the same time ,you don’t want the time you invested online chatting to go stale. Most would agree that It is much easier to form chemistry online. Online there is no pressure to smell good, get dressed or in most cases do your hair. When your communicating via chat or video conference whether you may realize it or not, you have a level of comfortability with your partner. It typically takes 1-2 conversations to build your confidence and once you do, you have learned your partner’s routine. Meeting face to face changes that because now you need to determine your rhythm and whether your truly physically attracted to your partner. In certain cases, you may feel that the spark and excitement that once existed online is not there when you finally meet. Therefore, it is important to manage your expectations when meeting for the very first time. You never know how you will react to someone physically so think more with your head and less with your heart. Just go with the flow and allow the time you spend together to happen organically. Putting less pressure on yourself and focusing more on having fun while remaining casual is the best approach.

When meeting for the first time it is also important to have boundaries. You want to have that open dialogue with your partner about what you feel comfortable with and how you see the initial encounter. For example, most members who are looking for something mature might want to meet initially in the daytime at a local coffee shop or maybe an open area that is visible to the public such as a park. In contrast, to something more casual where the first meeting may take place at a bar, club or perhaps at each other’s place over a nice candlelight dinner. There is no right or wrong approach however, you should always level-set so that your expectations are met, and you feel comfortable above anything else.

Your safety should also be your primary concern when meeting for the first time. It can appear awkward but if you can find a creative way to take a picture of your date or at the bare minimum notifying someone of where you’re going such as family member or a close friend. You can do everything right; however, you still don’t know your date completely and although most people use dating websites for dating purposes there is always a bad apple in the fruit basket. Be mindful of your belongings and never leave food or drinks unattended. Following these tips won’t necessarily ensure the perfect experience however, it will help you achieve your desired match-making results.